Have you ever reached a moment where you felt burnt out, disconnected, or disappointed with where you are in your life or career? 

It is something many people experience, and quite often it has nothing to do with failure. Instead, it comes from following a version of success that no longer inspires you.

It is surprisingly easy to move through life on autopilot. You focus on the next step, the promotion, the title, the performance rating, the polished CV - all the things you were taught to pursue. You keep going because it feels like the right thing to do or because that is what people expect of you. Yet somewhere along the way, a disconnect forms between the life you are building and the life you actually want to live. 

That misalignment often shows up as exhaustion, frustration, or a sense of drifting. It can feel as though you are living a life that looks perfectly reasonable from the outside but feels off on the inside.

This happens when your definition of success has not evolved as quickly as you have.

Your definition of success is allowed to change

Success is personal, and it is shaped by your values, experiences, relationships, responsibilities, and even the seasons of life you move through. What felt important to you ten years ago may carry far less weight today, and that is a sign of growth.

For a long time, success for me meant achievement and independence. It was about reaching goals, proving myself, building capability, taking responsibility, and knowing I could stand on my own two feet. 

That mindset served me well for many years and gave me a strong foundation, but as I moved through some significant life moments, my priorities naturally began to shift. Burnout taught me that achievement without rest is not sustainable. Losing my brother Chris changed my understanding of time, purpose, and what truly matters. Becoming a mother reshaped the way I thought about energy, legacy, and the example I set for my family. Together, these experiences made me realise that success was no longer defined by how much I could achieve, but by how intentionally I wanted to live and how present I wanted to be in my own life.

Today, my definition of success is centered on meaningful work that helps others, a sense of time freedom, and a life that offers joy, connection, and adventure. It feels calmer and more aligned because it reflects the person I am now rather than the person I used to be. Whenever I make changes in my life or career, I always pause to check in with my current definition of success and set my ego aside, so that the choices I make support the long-term life I want to build, not the life I once thought I should pursue.

Why redefining success builds confidence

Many people assume confidence comes from achievement, but real confidence comes from alignment. When your life reflects who you are and what matters to you, you begin to trust yourself more deeply. Decisions become clearer because you are no longer performing a life for other people. You stop comparing yourself to colleagues who want completely different things. You feel more grounded because your choices match your values.

Confidence grows when your external life matches your internal compass.

And that is why redefining success matters - not just for your wellbeing but for your energy, your relationships, and your overall sense of direction.

Why this matters in your career

Your career is one of the biggest tools you have to build the life you want. When you are unclear about what success looks like, your career becomes a series of reactions rather than intentions. You say yes because you feel you should. You aim for roles or responsibilities because they look impressive or because someone once told you it was the right direction. You keep climbing even if you no longer want what is at the top.

When you redefine success, your career stops being something you simply maintain and becomes something you actively shape. You begin to make choices based on what you value, not what you are expected to value. You can still be ambitious - in fact, you may become more ambitious - but your ambition is directed towards a life that feels meaningful to you.

My own shift

When I think back to the times I felt most stuck in my career, it was when I could not see my next step clearly. I had spent my entire career working towards the next big thing, but then I hit a ceiling and suddenly there was no obvious direction to aim for. I had worked so hard to get where I was, yet I could not picture what came next.

It was not until I made a significant career change and took the time to invest in my own development that I began to see things differently. That period helped me realise that it was never just about finding the perfect next job, it was about building a life that made sense as a whole. Once I became clearer on the future I wanted to create - the experiences I wanted, the financial security I was aiming for, the time freedom I valued, and the kind of work that would genuinely energise me - everything felt more aligned. 

My career became the vehicle to support that bigger vision, rather than the only measure of whether I was successful or not.

So ask yourself, am I shaping a life that aligns with my goals, or am I simply chasing the next role because it feels like the logical next step?

Questions to help you redefine success

If you feel that something is slightly off or that you have been working toward goals that no longer feel like your own, here are a few questions that may help you reconnect with yourself:

• What does success look like for me now?
• Which parts of my life feel aligned, and which feel slightly out of place?
• What would the next version of a fulfilling life look like for me?
  
  

These questions are not about abandoning your career or making drastic changes. They are about rediscovering your internal compass, so you can make decisions from a place of clarity instead of habit.

Your version of success is yours to write

You are allowed to change the rules you live by. You are allowed to evolve your goals, shift your priorities, and redefine what a fulfilling life looks like for you. Most importantly, you are allowed to build a career and life that feel aligned, intentional, and meaningful.

Success becomes far more fulfilling when it is defined by your values rather than someone else’s expectations.

Always with love,
Elsa x